Burying the ashes of Ted Coote in St Cuthbert's church garden, March 2005

Back l to r: Stephen Coote, Peter Coote, Norah Coote (Ted's wife), Mollie Oldrieve, Faye Coote, Olliver Coote, Richard Coote, Toby Gilbert, Theo Gilbert, Anjela Coote, Margaret Coote, Terry Coote (Ted's brother). Front l to r: Ridley Coote, Eldon Coote, Natasha Coote, Xanthe Coote.

A celebration of Ted's life
St Joseph¹s Church, Tangier Road, Copnor
Tuesday 11 January 2004, noon

Eulogy

Be thou my guardian - 55

1. Be thou my guardian and my guide
And hear me when I call;
Let not my slippery footsteps slide,
And hold me lest I fall.

2. The world, the flesh,
and Satan dwell Around the path I tread;
O save me from the snares of hell,
Thou quickener of the dead.

3. And if I tempted am to sin,
And outward things are strong,
Do thou, O Lord, keep watch within,
And save my soul from wrong.

4. Still let me ever watch and pray,
And feel that I am frail;
That if the tempter cross my way,
Yet he may not prevail.

I Williams, 1802-65)

Rejoice, the Lord is King! - 432

1. Rejoice, the Lord is King!
Your Lord and King adore;
mortals, give thanks and sing,
and triumph evermore.

Lift up your heart, lift up your voice;
rejoice, again I say, rejoice.

2. Jesus the Saviour reigns,
the God of truth and love;
when he had purged our stains,
he took his seat above.

3. His kingdom cannot fail;
he rules o'er earth and heav'n;
the keys of death and hell
are to our Jesus giv'n.

4. He sits at God's right hand
till all his foes submit,
and bow to his command,
and fall beneath his feet.

Charles Wesley (1707-1788)

Edward Noel Coote

25 December 1925 – 30 December 2004

Today we gather to remember and give thanks for the life of Ted Coote, to mourn his loss, to say goodbye, to comfort one another, and to begin again in a new chapter of life. One of the first times l met Ted was when he and I went to the St. Cuthbert’s memorial garden so that he could show me how ashes were interred. All of sudden he started to dance a jig. He pointed to the spot: -my mother-in-law’s ashes are buried there."

Ted was born in Cottage Grove in Southsea, and was one of seven brothers and one sister. As was common in the 1930’s he left school at the age of 14 and found work as a barber. The shop was bombed during the blitz, so Ted found work as a clerk at Hayes Wharf, a company in the meat export and import trade. Ted worked at their branch in Greetham Street.

The Second World War was in well underway, and at the tender age of seventeen and a half Ted obtained his mother’s consent to join the Army. He served as a pay clerk with the Royal Army Service Corps, and was sent to Bengaz.i in Libya. During a spell of leave he went by train to Cairo, and whilst the train was travelling slowly a man reached in through the window and stole his glasses. Perhaps it was this incident that formed his less than glowing opinion of the entire Arab people.

Ted was clearly good at his job, for at the age of 19 he was promoted to the rank of sergeant. The war ended and Ted was demobbed, and he returned to work at Hayes Wharf — not as a clerk — but as a driver, delivering meat to butcher’s shops in Portsmouth.

In the late I 940s Ted met Norah at Twyford Avenue Youth Club. Norah was still at schooll They were married in 1952 in St. Mary’s Church in Fratton, and set up home in two rooms in Oliver Street. In the same year they bought 35 Chesterfield Road, the home Ted was to enjoy for the rest of his life. By 1948 Ted was not content to drive a meat delivery lorry, and obtained a job as a clerk with Southern Railways in connection with the ferry service to the Isle of Wight. Southern Railways became British Rail, and Ted was promoted first to Chief Clerk, and then to the position of Assistant I. O.W. Services Manager.

He loved his work, and was very popular with his colleagues. As a man with a strong sense of integrity and justice he was determined to protect the well-being of the men in his company, and he was not afraid to side with them against the senior managers when the need arose.

In 1983 the company changed from British Rail to Wightlink, and Ted took early retirement at the age of 58. Remarkably, he took no sick leave in 29 years until the onset of diabetes in 1977.

Ted’s working life was important to him, and he gave a lot to it, but of far greater importance was his family. Ted was wholly devoted to Norah, and took very seriously his role of provider for his family. In the 1950’s Stephen, Sarah, and Peter were born, Ted actually helping to deliver Peter. The birth of Richard in 1972 was also a source of great joy. Ted worked so hard for them, doing lots of overtime so that his family could enjoy a good standard of living. Stephen recalls that he was the first in his class to have a foreign holiday, and that Ted was always selfless with his money when his family was concerned.

From 1986 grandchildren began to arrive, and Ted found a whole new vocation in becoming a professional granddad. They became nine in number, aged between 18 and 2, and Ted took huge delight in them. There was nothing he loved more than large family gatherings. He always had a stock of sweets for them, and bars of chocolate for the older ones.

Christmas was a very special time, for he loved buying and giving presents to his extended family. As a family, you are greatly blessed in the huge fund of memories Ted has bestowed upon you. There is much to be thankful for.

Ted began to be involved with St. Cuthbert’s church in 1954, and has been a core part of our life together for the last 50 years. There are so many aspects to his sharing in the life of our church that it is impossible to do justice to them all. tie was a server for more than 40 years. tie played in the church hockey team in the 1950’s. He sang in the choir for a time. He was a member of the Parochial Church Council at various times, serving jointly as church treasurer, and as Deputy Church Warden more recently. His gentle wisdom and good humoured support were a huge asset to our discussions.

Members of the Connexion social group have lots of tales to tell about Ted, perhaps the most famous being when he fell from a canal boat into the Thames, lost his glasses, and had to be pulled Out with a boat hook, much to his chagrin.

Ted’s favourite Bible text was the saying of Jesus “Suffer the little children to come unto me". Ted’s love of young people took him into leading one of our Quest groups, in which he supported them on their journey to confirmation.

He served with the Tuesday Triangle initiative which was based in our church hall, caring for families at a very vulnerable time in their lives He was everybody’s granddad, and loved to escort the children on a stroll around Baffins Pond.

In recent years he went into Langstone Junior School to help children develop their reading skills, and was always able to build a rapport with the children. The school miss him a great deal.

Ted was also a gifted gardener, creating a haven of beauty in his own garden, as well as heading up the garden maintenance in the church grounds. Working with other church members, he enabled the parish to win the Portsmouth in Bloom award for three years running in the early 1990’s.

Indeed, Ted had a great appreciation for God’s creation, especially when it came in the female form. Two weeks before he died I visited him in hospital. He said to me, "Yesterday, a very attractive lady doctor came to look at my chest. It seemed only polite to return the compliment!" He had the most amazing ability to flirt with the opposite sex, but without a hint of malice or manipulation. And, of course, we all knew really that he had eyes only for Norah.

It was wholly innocent, and those on the receiving end rather enjoyed it, for they knew how kind and good Ted was. It was a rare gift, and we shall miss it. The other thing we will miss is Ted’s outrageous socks, which he always displayed with great pride, especially at the communion rail. His impish sense of humour remained to the end.

Ted’s faith was central to his life, and I was delighted when he came along to a confirmation group to support the candidates as they explored the Christian faith.

For some time he had talked about being UA practicing Christian — “I’m not sure I’m there yet, but I’m still practicing." But in recent years his faith grew in confidence, until in the last year he could speak with real heartfelt assurance that he was God’s beloved child and that nothing could separate him from the love of God. In the last weeks of his life he drew on that faith, and faced death with the absolute conviction that he was going to his Lord.

We are sad, but let us remember that this is a good Christian death, a death which Ted knew was simply the gate to a new and wonderful life. In these past weeks it was a privilege to spend time with him, and to pray together as he prepared to begin the great adventure with Jesus in the kingdom of heaven.

There is so much to give thanks for in Ted’s life, For Ted there is rejoicing in heaven, but for those who remain there is loss and grief. You, his friends and family, have a lost a good friend. The people of St Cuthbert’s and St. Aidan’s have lost a good friend I have lost a good friend. We shall miss his care, his encouragement, and most of all, his love.

Lean on one another in your grief and loss.

Lean on Jesus, who gives us new life and new beginnings for the days to come.

David Power
Vicar of St Cuthbert’s
4 January 2005

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father,
who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.

Amen